Monday Motivation: Waiting On God

Friends

Have you been praying for something for a long time and still find your prayer unanswered?

 

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“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling,”

Isaiah 30:15 – ESV

 

I had to get out of this job. I couldn’t keep on going this way. It was supposed to be a Day/Night shift rotation, a 50/50 split, but it never worked out. There was never enough night shift staff to make that schedule work, so more and more night shifts for me. My body just wasn’t cut out for working nights, and the chronic dark circles under my eyes told the tale. I stayed sleep-deprived to the point of feeling like a walking zombie!   

 

It wasn’t that I didn’t love nursing. No, far from it. Nursing was my passion, and working in the Coronary Care Unit (CCU) had been a perfect fit for me. As far as I was concerned, the heart was the most fascinating organ in the body, and I thrived on caring for heart patients. I was a regular Sherlock Holmes when it came to interpreting heart rhythms, and solving the daily mysteries of cardiac care made my own heart skip a beat. I truly loved the work, but the frenzied pace and killer schedule were simply wearing me out.

 

The CCU was a 12-bed nursing unit, and lately, it stayed full, even if we never had enough warm bodies to staff it. At 25 years old, I was often the most senior nurse on the shift, carrying charge nurse responsibilities along with a full patient load. I hit the ground running the minute I walked through the automatic double doors, jumping from one crisis to another until the day shift nurse showed up to replace me.

 

Almost a year had passed since one of my patients had gone into cardiac arrest seated on the bedside commode. Springing into action, I grabbed the rather large man and hurled him back onto the bed where I proceeded to shock his heart back to life. I saved his life, but I soon learned that I would pay a high price for my Wonder Woman antics. That was my first back injury, and in the following six months, I suffered three more bouts with back pain. Continually pulling and tugging on patients was not helping my back recover. I had to get out of this job.

 

I had a plan, graduate school in the fall. I would have to work part-time to help make our house payments, but I could make that work. I could pick up plenty of extra shifts in the CCU, but what I really wanted was a job In Cardiac Rehabilitation. I had been dreaming of that since nursing school, and I was tired of waiting. The problem was that those positions were terribly difficult to find. No one left those jobs. How could you blame them?

 

I had been praying about my plans for a while, but nothing was happening except more night shifts. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I did get accepted into the top-notch graduate nursing program at The Catholic University of America in downtown D.C., but nothing was changing on the work front. I mean, really. How long was I supposed to wait?

 

Maybe I‘m supposed to take action. I’ve been praying, but maybe it’s time to make things happen. Don’t they say to step out in faith? If a Cardiac Rehab job wasn’t coming open at my hospital in my lifetime, or really, right now, then maybe I am supposed to look elsewhere. “Lord, help me find a job!” I opened the want-ads in the newspaper.

 

I didn’t have to look long. There were tons of hospitals in the Washington D.C. area. There was a Cardiac Rehab position open at Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. It was an hour’s drive , but I could do that. It was three days a week with firm hours, no flexibility. I had no idea what my graduate school schedule would be like in the fall. Surely I could juggle my full-time class schedule around those work hours, couldn’t I? I was tired of waiting. I applied.

 

I breezed through the interview, and the department supervisor offered me the job on the spot. She stressed the hours of the position, but I reassured her I could make my school schedule work. “Come back Friday morning to complete the paperwork and report to Employee health for your physical.” I was on Cloud Nine as I bounced through the hospital doorway.

 

On Thursday night, I worked a 12-hour night shift. We were short-staffed, and I ran my legs off all night. My back was killing me by the time I finished report and crawled into the car for my one-hour drive to my new hospital. 

 

Arriving at Employee Health, I was surprised at the lengthy stack of paperwork they handed me. There were lots of questions about previous injuries, particularly back injuries. I hesitated on how to reply, but followed my conscience and reported my previous back injury. It wouldn’t impact this new, much easier job, so of course, I should be honest. I could explain the details to the physician in person. I filled out the forms and waited for my turn to see the doctor.

 

“What? What do you mean I’m not fit for work? I just finished a 12-hour night shift in the CCU! I’ll be working in Cardiac Rehab.” 

 

The doctor’s cold stare met my astonished glare. “You’ve got back issues. I’m rejecting you for employment.”

 

“But I’ve already been given the position. I won’t have to lift patients with this job. My back will be better with this job.”

 

“My decision is final.” And it was. No recourse, no negotiation. I was out of a job. Worse still, I had already turned in my notice in the CCU, and another nurse was set to take my position. I really was out of a job!

 

“Lord, what did I do wrong? I thought this was the plan! How could that doctor do that? How could this all go so terribly wrong? Lord, where are you? Why is this happening?”

 

Have you ever been so miserable that you simply took matters into your own hands? Of course, God has a good plan for our lives, but sometimes it’s not happening fast enough! Surely, He doesn’t expect us to keep waiting forever. I mean, of course, we should pray about it, but perhaps sometimes God is just waiting for us to show that we trust Him by taking some initiative. Aren’t we supposed to step out in faith?

 

That’s what 25-year-old Anita decided. She had been praying, but the answer wasn’t coming fast enough for her. It was time to make my own plan and ask the Lord to bless it. Yeah, right, and how did that work out?

 

Waiting is one of the hardest things God asks us to do. It’s right up there with trusting. We believe God is good, that He has a good plan for our lives, but trusting Him when that plan is slow to unfold is beyond challenging. It’s positively nerve-wracking! Yet, it’s exactly what he asks us to do. We cannot find peace until we let go of our grasping, controlling attitudes. We cannot follow His good path for our lives until we adopt a stance of quietness and trust. 

 

You and I want the fairy tale at the end of the rainbow, and we are disappointed when it doesn’t happen . We may not understand why we are left to endure adverse circumstances. We cannot fathom why affliction strikes. God rarely chooses to answer our “Why” questions, but if we open ourselves to waiting on Him, He does answer “How?”

 

I ended up back in the Coronary Care Unit, this time working evening shift. I liked the schedule, but rarely saw my husband. I had learned a lesson. I started praying for God’s plan, not mine. “Lord, let this all work out the way You see fit.” 

 

Four months later, just six weeks from the start of graduate school, I was offered a Cardiac Rehab position in my own hospital. My supervisor, a former graduate of the same Master’s degree program, was totally flexible with my schedule, readily altering my hours with every new semester. I learned an incredible amount from my talented colleagues and absolutely adored teaching patients. It was a perfect job for those two years of graduate school, and I couldn’t have planned it better if I had tried. Oh, yeah, I guess I did try, and it didn’t work out so well, did it?

 

Friends, are you waiting for something that seems too far away? Are you tempted to take matters into your own hands? Take a pause. Pray on it. Then pray some more. Wait on God. It may take a while, but it’ll be worth the wait.

 

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 – NIV

 

PRAYER

O Good and Gracious God, how often we test Your patience with our grasping, controlling ways. Forgive us when we rush forward, refusing to wait for Your good plan. Teach us to return to You again and again, resting in Your presence, quietly trusting You to work it all out for our good and Your glory.

In the Forgiving Name of Jesus, we pray,

Amen

 

Blessings,

Anita

 

-APS 3/17/2025