Monday Motivation: Even If

Friends

Will you join me in the garden this morning? For in the garden, we find Jesus, and in Jesus, we find grace.

 

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“Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.””

Mark 14:35-36 – NIV

For me, some of the most powerful moments in the crucifixtion story are the hours Jesus spent alone in the Garden of Gethsemane. There, Jesus found himself at the lowest point in His earthly life. He knew the trouble that lay ahead for Him, and He was heartsick. Jesus knew He would soon be subjected to betrayal, scorn, humiliation, torture, and horrific physical pain. He knew it was His Father’s plan for redeeming humanity, and still, His soul cried out in anguish. In His humaness, Jesus felt the terror, the heartache, the bitter loss, and He prayed for deliverance. He prayed for a way out. “Father… take this cup from me.”

 

Have you ever found yourself on your knees, praying for deliverance? Have you ever cried out to God in anguish, begging Him to take the suffering away? I have. I’ve been there more than once. I bet you have too.

 

In the most terror-filled moment in my life, I recall staring at the doctor in stunned disbelief. He looked up from his computer screen and hurled four words at me that I will never forget, “You are legally blind.” In that sentinel moment in my life, my soul was besieged by a mix of emotions, abject sadness, indignant anger, horrific hurt. Only one word can begin to describe the state of my soul, despair. Yes, bitter and unrestrained despair. My mind replayed one question again and again, “Why, Lord, why?”

 

In the days, months, and years that followed, I prayed for deliverance from this disease, for God to take it all away. “Lord, let my eyes remain stable. Lord, let there be a cure.” But then I would think, “But what if this is God’s will for me? What if this is the way it’s supposed to be?” More questions followed.   “Can I live with that? Can I bear the weight of this cross?”

 

That’s when I would think about Jesus in the Garden, Jesus on His knees, Jesus crying out to His Father for deliverance. “Take this cup from me.” But unlike me, Jesus did not end His prayer there. He finished the sentence with “…not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 14:36, NIV). In the moment of His deepest despair, when the tears flooded His eyes, and the sweat from His forehead poured forth blood, Jesus submitted Himself to His Father’s will, trusting that God’s plan for Him was right, that the coming sorrow would be used for good. Jesus still felt sad. He felt hurt, maybe even angry, but He set His emotions aside and turned His eyes, and His heart, to the Father’s will. “Not what I will, but what You will.”

 

In those early days after my diagnosis, I recall a moment at a church circle meeting that captured my attention. I was seated beside one of the spiritual giants of our church, a woman with a faith strong enough to move mountains. As she discussed her battle with colon cancer, she described how God had used that hard thing for good in her life. I remember asking her, “Is it OK to ask God for healing, or should we just accept what we have been given to bear?” I have never forgotten her heartfelt reply. “Of course, it’s OK to ask God for healing, but when you do, follow it with Thy will be done, and give me the grace to deal with it.”

 

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was asking His Father for the grace to deal with the suffering that lay ahead. His human heart begged for deliverance, but His godly soul knew that His Father’s plan was best.

 

Despite my prayers and the prayers of so many others, God did not spare me from the suffering. He did not take away this affliction. But as my prayers changed to “Thy will be done, and give me the grace to deal with it,” God did give me the grace to deal with this hard thing. I still felt sad sometimes, even angry. I still found myself back in that pit of despair from time to time, but even there, I began to notice God’s hand of grace at work. I started to see the good in my life, instead of simply wallowing in the anguish. I began to see how God could bring beauty out of my brokenness, and I decided that while His way may be hard, it is best, and God will use it for my good and His glory.

 

Friends, we live in a fallen and sinful world where bad things happen, even to good people. God doesn’t answer our “Why?” questions, and  sometimes He does not take away our suffering. God’s ways are not our ways, his thoughts are not available to us (Isaiah 55:8). There are questions on this side of heaven that we will never receive the answers for, butGod knows the answers. We can trust that He has a good plan for each of us (Jeremiah 29:11), and He is fully capable of working  all things together for good (Romans 8:28). God never leaves us alone to face the hard things of this life (Deuteronomy 31:6), and His grace is more than sufficient to see us through (2 Corinthians 12:9). Whatever hard thing you are facing right now, take it to God. Ask for His help, but ask for His will in this. He is fully capable of making the impossible possible, but even if He doesn’t, know that your hope still lies in Him. Even if your struggle continues, know that God can redeem your circumstances and bring beauty from the ashes of despair.

 

God did not answer my “Why?” questions, but He did answer my prayer. God did give me the grace to deal with this disease. While I still long for a miracle, even if one never comes on this side of heaven, it will be OK, because my hope rests in Christ alone. God’s grace remains sufficient. Blind or not, I can honestly sing, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”

 

PRAYER

O Lord Jesus, You are worthy. You are so worthy, and we, we are so unworthy, so un-deserving of Your gift of grace. For us, You bore the pain, suffered the shame, endured the indignity, paid the ultimate price. You bore it all for us. You love us that much. Because of the cross, we are forgiven, redeemed, set free. O Lord Jesus, because of You, each and every one of us can stand and boldly proclaim, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”

In Your Holy Name, we give you all blessing, honor, and glory,

Amen

 

Blessings,

Anita

 

-APS 3/25/2024